Thief Dinesh becomes local hero as Giriraj money multiplies overnight

Police swung into action as the case involved a BJP politician, who is known for creating a ruckus and enforcing communal harmony. Policemen started manning traffic and kept an eye on exit points. Dinesh was caught in an auto-rickshaw as he tightly held a suitcase. A suitcase is enough to arouse suspicion. A tightly-held suitcase meant the case was closed. Dinesh was arrested and confessed to have stolen the money from Giriraj Singh’s house. When senior policemen opened the suitcase for a photo opportunity, they found Rs.1.14 crore in cash. This is when they realised Dinesh was no ordinary man.

Inspector (General) Dadan Singh said the police have already withdrawn charges but it’s now a legal matter and only a court can release him. “We understand the sentiments of the people but we have to follow the law. I am confident the court will release him,” he said. Police also plan to honour Dinesh, because he was caught by police within a day of the theft. “We rarely catch anything but cold. This man is pure gold,” Dadan Singh said. When asked about the crowd growing in strength outside the police station, he said everybody wants Dinesh to double their monies. “They do not understand the basic fact: to double your money, Dinesh needs to break into your house and steal the money. Are you ready to volunteer?”

Rajmohan Ketley, who runs a tea shop near Mahavir Mandir, wants Dinesh to offer his services to Arun Jaitley. “Fiscal deficit can be tackled. Let Dinesh out on banks. Let him work. We will beat China in a day,” he said. A finance ministry official, however, rubbished the idea saying this is not a banana republic. “We have rules. We can cook our own books. Thank you.”

This is satire. It should be taken with a pinch of salt.